Speeding
granny sends Clarkson to jail
Magistrates sitting last Thursday in Solihull found Joan
Brown (93) guilty of speeding in the pedestrianized portion of the High Street
on her motorised disability scooter. Mother of four, Joan, was discovered by
police to be travelling at 35 miles an hour. The maximum permissible speed for
a disability scooter is 4mph on the pavement and 8mph on a road.
Mervin Merryweather, (63) counsel for the defence , said Mrs
Brown was not aware of the true speed of her disability scooter since
modifications had been made to the speedometer by Jeremy Clarkson, presenter of
BBC TV’s Top Gear programme. The modifications enabled the scooter engine to
travel up to 70mph on roads whilst showing a speed of only 10mph.
He said his client was used to travelling at speed since she
was a pilot during the second world war, delivering all kinds of aircraft to
British airfields, including spitfires from the Castle Bromwich factory.
Mr Clarkson (52) was asked to explain why he had undertaken
the modification to Mrs Brown’s scooter. He said he realised that making
changes to a speedometer were illegal but it annoyed him to travel behind old
people who drove very slowly. He recently undertook the same modifications to a
car as part of a recent Top Gear programme and drove it on the road. After the
programme was aired on Sunday, 24 February 2013, he was inundated with requests
to perform the same modification to other vehicles which he was happy to do.
Asked by the magistrates to identify the person who
requested Mrs Brown’s speedometer to be modified, father of three, Clarkson,
said he couldn’t remember the name. He said, “Some old biddy in a blue cardigan
appeared in my workshop waving £100 notes under my nose. She didn’t give any
details and I wasn’t going to ask any questions. I just took the money and made
the changes.”
Mr Merryweather told the court his client believed a Belinda
Hoggetts of 22, Whitehouse Way, Solihull, was responsible for the modifications
to her disability scooter. Mrs Hoggetts worked for Age UK (Solihull) and managed
the scheme for loaning scooters to Solihull residents who wished to go shopping
in Solihull pedestrianized area.
When questioned, Mrs Hoggetts (46) admitted she had paid Mr
Clarkson to modify Mrs Brown’s scooter. She said, “My husband, Trevor, is a
great fan of Top Gear. When he saw the changes Jeremy Clarkson made to his
motor vehicle to make it more convenient for older adults, he suggested I
should approach Mr Clarkson to make similar changes to our Age UK disability
scooters. Mrs Brown’s scooter had recently come back to us for a service, so I
took it to Mr Clarkson’s workshop in Chipping Norton and paid him for the
modifications.”
In sentencing Mrs Brown, magistrates agreed she was only
partly responsible for her crime. She was fined £400 and ordered to do sixty
hours community service. Mr Clarkson was remanded in custody charged with
making illegal modifications to motor vehicles.
He was also bound over to keep the peace after shouting at the
magistrates calling them “Country buffoons without an ounce of common sense”
and declaring he was immune from prosecution because he was a BBC presenter.
Mrs Hoggetts was also fined £400 and ordered to do 500 hours community service.
The above is a work of fiction!
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